The "Other" Other blog...

So, you probably don't know this, but I actually have another blog here on blogspot.  It's a little dark and most of it was written when I was deeply depressed and had no idea how much drama I was allowing into my life.  If you're willing to risk the urge to "slit your teenage wrists," feel free to check it out.  http://temptationwalking.blogspot.com/    However, this post is really about my NEW other blog.  Which I won't link you to, bc it isn't officially up and running yet.

So, my daughter is a competitive cheerleader.  Recently a big name company in the cheer world announced that it wanted bloggers for their upcoming blog.  I jumped on the chance to use my writing "for the good of cheerleaders everywhere."  We switched gyms this year, and let's just say that it's a whole new world at our new one.  My daughter decided after two years with the first gym that she was done cheering forever.  It broke my heart in a huge way.  I practically forced her into the new gym after watching her grieve the loss of her passion and dreams for opening her own gym one day for weeks on end.  The new place is a place where athletes thrive in an environment of positivity and patience, fairness and integrity in the gym and outside of it.  I truly believe that her new coach saved her in so many ways...

And that is what I blogged about.  I got a quick reply that basically said she loved it, she cried reading it, but it wasn't going to be printed as is.  Because of the negativity in regards to the previous gym, they were concerned that anyone in the cheer world or our area that knew me would know immediately what gym I was talking about.  While I did understand their point, and I did send in an edited version in response, I am still annoyed by this.  I sent in the edits because I really feel like this is a message that these young athletes need to hear-no matter how bad it is, keep going, start over, don't give up on your passion or your dreams because of other people's negative impact on them. 

However, Can I Just Say, HELLO???  Why are we worried about a gym that spent countless hours using profanity with, threatening and tearing down athletes?  Is it my word against theirs?  Not necessarily.  Our entire upper level team walked out at the end of the season (except one girl) and moved on to other gyms.  Most of them had been at our gyms for years.  Then poof, the whole group peaced out on them.  It doesn't take a rocket scientist to guess what probably went down there.  Was my intent in that initial blog to trash them?  No.  I didn't name them.  I wasn't incredibly specific for the purpose of avoiding this very response.  I cried my eyes out writing it, reliving every moment of my daughter's heartbreak, remembering how hard it was for her to trust new coaches, replaying the many times her usually tough facade was dissolved into that of a helpless and confused child in my head.  I also think that it is ridiculous to assume that the ENTIRE group of "cheer worlders" that know me don't already know what happened there.  There are parents and athletes in 15 states that know exactly how it all went down, and what gym it was.  Why???  Because, I am also a military wife.  At any moment, any of our friends who have children in cheer may get stationed there and I want to make sure that none of them take their kids into that environment.  I expect that other moms will warn me if I am gym shopping and a gym has unsafe equipment, a poor coaching staff or an emotionally negative atmosphere.  THAT is the relationship that these companies should be worried about.  WHAT IF they published it AS IS, and it forced that gym to improve their faults?  Wouldn't THAT be amazing? 

Here's the good news.  I also sent that very blog, unedited, in to nominate our new coach for the Coach of the Year award this past week.  She won.  When they announced it, they also announced that she won because of my letter.  I know that many of our athletes and parents wrote in about her, though.  When they specifically said my letter was what clinched it, I felt like they were saying, "We heard you.  We will stand against coaches and programs who abuse their position.  We will celebrate those who don't."  For quite some time now, I have felt that there was no way I could ever show my gratitude to her for all she has done for my daughter.  This makes a dent.  For that, I am "furiously happy."  I'll let you know if they publish it or not...

Look of Horror...

Oh my God!  Last night, middle of the night, I get a FB notification.  That isn't really unusual at any hour of the day, but this one was CRAZY.  It was an event invite to a fundraiser for a kid's drill team.  They are raising money for uniforms.  Isn't that sweet???  Oh wait...I suppose I forgot to mention that they are doing so through the sale of SEX TOYS and LINGERIE!  A Pure Romance consultant has generously offered to donate her profits to help these girls out.  Now, I know this particular consultant, and her heart is huge and she has the best of intentions, I have no doubt.  However, I emailed her immediately and told her she needed to back out of this.  Here is why...
First of all, there is NO way that this won't get out, what with the public invite and the THREE HUNDRED PLUS people tagged in this as of this moment.  I don't know exactly how old these girls are, but I know girls as young as 5 who are already vicious.  Can you imagine the bullying these girls are going to have to withstand when word spreads that this is how they are raising money for their drill team???  In a society rampant with news about suicides due to bullying, I can't believe ANY parent on this drill team hasn't considered the backlash of this!  I mean, my 10 year old has already had absolutely VULGAR things written about her on a bathroom wall by a girl who was just upset over a boy liking my daughter.  I can just hear the harassment and disgusting names these little girls might get called when their team becomes associated with these items.  Not to mention if local Christian groups find out about this.  The Boys and Girls Club that this drill team dances for may lose valuable funding for other programs.  And don't EVEN get me started on the media frenzy that would ensue.  I told my friend I was concerned for HER safety and that of her kids. 
Also, I happen to know it's ILLEGAL to have children under 18 browsing their catalogs, websites or in attendance at their actual parties.  What happens when ONE irresponsibly parent has her daughter "run this catalog to Sally Sue next door for me, sweetie???"  Curious daughter flips through it, starts asking her friends what a vibrator does...maybe is overheard in school and EXPELLED? 
This whole thing has me seriously upset.  I would be HORRIFIED if our cheer gym paired up with a Slumber Parties or Pure Romance rep and wanted us to sell these products in the name of our daughters/sons.  Mind you, I think there is a time and place for these products.  Children's athletics is NOT it.  Perhaps, it's just me, but I doubt I am alone in my thinking here.  Why can't they just sell candles, candy and tshirts like every other group?  I would ABSOLUTELY pull my children off a team if their coach agreed to this, by the way.  These coaches have a responsibility to put their athletes best interest first.  This is an epic fail by the coaches, the parents and the Boys and Girls Club if they are aware of this.  Thoughts on what I should do here?

Open mouth, Insert foot.

Can I just say...that sometimes I shouldn't say shit.  Out loud.  Where people are present and can hear me.

My BFF, SS, who has lifetime permission to smack me as needed, has refrained from doing so, in spite of my constant use of the phrase, "I almost had a heart attack."  What's so wrong with that, you may wonder???  Well, her father passed away from a heart attack less than two years ago.  Every time I say it to her, I literally hang up, smack myself and swear to not be such an insensitive moron ever again.  I told her I am aware of my own stupidity and have promised to avoid such statements.  I'm failing.  Epically.  Typically, I would say that I am very sensitive to the feelings of others and go out of my way to be considerate of my friend's feelings.  Just not with this MASSIVE thing.  Lovely.

I also do this, in a way, to my other BF, SW.   S teaches autism inclusion and is a certified special ed teacher.  For SOME reason, I can't stop using the word "retarded" as an adjective.  As in, "OMG, I am so retarded because I can't stop saying this stupid shit."  Seriously, I know it makes her crazy.  She should yell at me.  She's not the most confrontational friend I have.  It would probably shock me into silence and scare me off from saying it if she ever did do that...

Oh, here's a one of a kind one.  My best guy friend was showing me pics of his kids, whom I haven't seen in person (we don't live where we grew up or near any of my closest friends).  He's Hispanic...His two oldest kids are dark skinned with dark hair and dark eyes.  The little one...not so much.  So I'm standing there, flipping through these 8x10's and I think, "wow...she is WHITE."  Only I didn't think it.  I SAID it.  Out loud.  6 inches from him.  LUCKILY, he knows I suspect his ex wife of all kinds of evil so he laughed and made a comment even more inappropriate for public reading than what I said then.  I mean, really, did I just question the paternity of his daughter outside of my own head?  (Huge thanks to HIS mother for teaching him never to hit a woman...)  Of course, features wise, she looks EXACTLY like him, so it's all good.  Well, except I clearly can not trust my mouth to stay shut when I tell it to.  That kindof sucks.

Note to self...Intelligence does NOT prevent stupidity.

Things I have been too ladylike to say in the last 90 days...

When did a wedding ring stop holding meaning for assholes in bars/clubs...
Just because you don't have boobs doesn't mean I should have to cover up mine...
If your bright orange baseline doesn't match your dark orange spray tan, perhaps you should rethink your look...
Men in a hurry to settle down terrify me...
If you have kids on your Facebook, perhaps pics of you pole dancing aren't the best option for uploading...
If your kid ACTUALLY laughs at you when you say no, MAYBE your parenting skills need work...
Oh, you own a $1000 camera?  So how does that make you a photographer exactly???
So you're getting a divorce.  That doesn't give you license to use your children as a weapon. 
I'm not your man-don't get pissed at me when you ask how something looks and I actually TELL YOU THE TRUTH!  Next time I will let you go out looking like that...
Maybe you shouldn't be shocked when you assume you have any say in who my friends are and you rapidly lose your status as one of them...
What you said when you were drunk, I will remember when I am sober.  And it won't be an excuse...

Can I Just Say...

So, sometimes, I have things to say that...well...just aren't that ladylike.  I admit it.  I'm not the Barbie Girl my so called public wants me to be.  It's a little exhausting keeping up with everyone's expectations all the time.  I know some of my supermom friends will agree with me.  You can't very well run around cussing out the principal, telling customers how you REALLY feel about what they said, or even telling your family what you really think about their parenting skills.  And you sure don't want to know what they think of YOURS.  So I have this secret group on Facebook where we all just say whatever we are thinking.  I started it, and some of the whopping 8 members I have allowed into it don't even know each other.  Makes for some very interesting posts. 
One of my closest friends, who actually isn't even in said group, has started a personal campaign for publicly being who you are and embracing it.  I'm sure she didn't know where I would take it.  Starting a blog in which the sole purpose is to just run my mouth.  If it makes her feel better, I'll say FEARLESSLY run my mouth...
So, here we go, world.  Can I Just Say...I'm a little worried...