Wednesday, January 11, 2012

Open mouth, Insert foot.

Can I just say...that sometimes I shouldn't say shit.  Out loud.  Where people are present and can hear me.

My BFF, SS, who has lifetime permission to smack me as needed, has refrained from doing so, in spite of my constant use of the phrase, "I almost had a heart attack."  What's so wrong with that, you may wonder???  Well, her father passed away from a heart attack less than two years ago.  Every time I say it to her, I literally hang up, smack myself and swear to not be such an insensitive moron ever again.  I told her I am aware of my own stupidity and have promised to avoid such statements.  I'm failing.  Epically.  Typically, I would say that I am very sensitive to the feelings of others and go out of my way to be considerate of my friend's feelings.  Just not with this MASSIVE thing.  Lovely.

I also do this, in a way, to my other BF, SW.   S teaches autism inclusion and is a certified special ed teacher.  For SOME reason, I can't stop using the word "retarded" as an adjective.  As in, "OMG, I am so retarded because I can't stop saying this stupid shit."  Seriously, I know it makes her crazy.  She should yell at me.  She's not the most confrontational friend I have.  It would probably shock me into silence and scare me off from saying it if she ever did do that...

Oh, here's a one of a kind one.  My best guy friend was showing me pics of his kids, whom I haven't seen in person (we don't live where we grew up or near any of my closest friends).  He's Hispanic...His two oldest kids are dark skinned with dark hair and dark eyes.  The little one...not so much.  So I'm standing there, flipping through these 8x10's and I think, "wow...she is WHITE."  Only I didn't think it.  I SAID it.  Out loud.  6 inches from him.  LUCKILY, he knows I suspect his ex wife of all kinds of evil so he laughed and made a comment even more inappropriate for public reading than what I said then.  I mean, really, did I just question the paternity of his daughter outside of my own head?  (Huge thanks to HIS mother for teaching him never to hit a woman...)  Of course, features wise, she looks EXACTLY like him, so it's all good.  Well, except I clearly can not trust my mouth to stay shut when I tell it to.  That kindof sucks.

Note to self...Intelligence does NOT prevent stupidity.

1 comment:

  1. i never even notice when you say that, heather! don't worry about it. i know you mean nothing by saying that and you do go out of your way to be sensitive to my feelings, and you dropped everything to help out when he passed away and were there by my side immediately. i am so thankful i had you there, and am still proud to call you my BFFFFFF...F. :)